A Change of Plans...

Already!? :)

As I had previously mentioned, we had discussed the idea of doing a party at Zach's father's for our "reception". I started doing a little math on that one, and quickly realized that we'd probably end up spending at least $5,000 to make that happen (oh yeah, and that doesn't even include an emergency tent in case of rain!). It also didn't include things like a dress for me, suit for Z or rings. OR the Honeymoon.

Suffice to say after studying all that math, I figured we had to come up with $13,000+ in the next year to make a wedding of that nature happen. Umm... let's say I have $1,000 saved already.... that means we would still have to save roughly $1,000 a month for the next year. Let's just say that, even in the best of times, that probably wasn't possible, and this isn't exactly the best of times. :)

So I was back to the drawing board. I tried to consider what was really the most important things for me when it came to the wedding. Here is the list:

1) Getting married sooner than later.
2) A wedding witnessed by our closest friends and family.
3) A wonderful honeymoon right after the wedding (no 6-months later stuff).
4) Good food and cupcakes (Molly's cupcakes to be most specific).
5) A chance to celebrate with our extended network of friends and family.

Somewhat "Important" Stuff
1) Pretty flowers for me
2) Pretty dress for me
3) Pictures of us
4) Pretty invitations

Let's be honest, that isn't really a very big list. And it can easily be accommodated by a variety of options. Here is what we have come up with so far.

Ceremony: Wedding at the Chicago Cultural Center witnessed by our nearest and dearest 28 or so friends and family. Well, as long as we're allowed that many people. :) I'll have flowers, a beautiful dress and our union will be witnessed by our nearest and dearest. I'm also thinking we'll have cupcakes while we wait... and possibly some pictures. We're blessed with having two photographer friends (one who does weddings for living!) and two brothers who are very good with cameras. Between all of them, I think we'll get some great shots!

"Reception": If you can even really call it that. We'll head out after the ceremony to have lunch with the group somewhere close. We have every intention of footing the bill for this one, and we'll have yummy food!

After Party: We can head out to a bar somewhere in Chicago that night to have a "after hours" party and invite everyone we know to join us for a drink. I figure this way we can party all night with people who love us and not have to pay for the entire party. Yeah, we're cheap, but we also don't expect and/or want presents, so I think that evens out. :)

Sunday Relaxation: We figure if any of our friends and family are still around (since many will be flying/driving in), we can hang out on Sunday and relax.

Monday (or maybe Tuesday) honeymoon!: We'll head out the next day or so for the honeymoon. The current idea is a 7-day cruise, but those are hard to find leaving on an early weekday!

Total cost: probably $6,000 - $8,000

I'm not going to say that even saving that much is going to be easy at this point, but it seems much more reasonable. I hope to be able to find some ways to do things a little cheaper. Do I need a $300 dress? Do I need to get my hair done? Some of those things are still a little up in the air.

Oh yeah, and when I presented this plan to the Fiance, his only input was, "I would really like to do it Labor Day weekend if that is possible. Otherwise it sounds great." Next Labor Day weekend would be out 5 year anniversary. Isn't that cute?

Dress Love...

I would really hate to spend a lot of money on a dress. I say that, and then well, I fall in love with 4 dresses, all over $2,000.

This is Melissa Sweet's dress Petunia. I've had a love affair with Petunia for well, probably years. I originally saw her on some celebrity bride (I think it was some top chef contestant or something) and she made my heart skip a beat. I think I spent HOURS trying to figure out who made that dress... I had to know! Unfortunately my love is only available from other brides by now... and well... even used she's at least $1,500+. Of course... I could always resell it later right? :)

This is Priscilla of Boston's Vineyard's Collection's Drew. Drew and I don't go back nearly as long as Petunia and I do, but well, I'm still in love. In fact, I think Drew has a little edge of Petunia in that she's a tad shorter. I'm not 100% sold that Petunia's longer style would be best on my semi-short legs. Drew, well, she's perfect. And I think she would qualify for Zach's 1 request to show some clevage. :)

Drew is equally outragously priced, starting at about $1,000 used. Again, I could re-sell it right? :)

Oh the terror of having expensive taste on a minimal budget. :)

A Few Worries...

I have two major (at least wedding related) worries at the moment.

1) There is no way we are going to get this thing done in a year.

And by that I mean, there is no way that we'll be able to afford this thing (and a honeymoon) in a year. Not given my recent pay reduction and Zach's current self-employment/unemployment.

I've just briefly mentioned wanting to do this next Labor Day and everyone keeps saying... "Wow, that will be here before you know it!" Yeah. Thanks for reminding me. Want to make a donation?

I recently checked out the Knot boards for my "date twins" (assuming a Labor Day 2009 weekend wedding). Can you say BAD IDEA? Some of these girls have venues, photographers, and caterers all signed up already. I have... well... I've got this idea...

And if that weren't enough I have another worry....

2) And that is the slippery slope down the bunny hill.

If we have a party, I want it to be a wedding-ish party (still emphasis on the party, but a little wedding thrown in). I want it to have a nice aesthetic... I want people to look back on it fondly. I think I want some pictures. I want nice papery goods. I want good food (and plenty of it). I want a dress I feel amazing in. I want Zach in a nice suit vest thing. We might need to rent a tent in the case of rain (although I don't know where we'd actually put it). All of that costs money. And money, is what we don't have a whole lot of right now.

I think that the crux of both of my fears is really that I just don't want to have regrets. I want whatever we do to be exactly what we want to do and to be done the way we want it. I don't want to half ass things because we just didn't have the cash. I mean, I recognize that letterpress invitations might not be in the cards (although I'm not going to lie, I haven't completely given up the idea in my head) but there are other things that might not be so clear cut.

What am I praying for right now? I'm hoping the fine federal government comes through a decides that I deserve the $8,000 first time home buyer credit for Zach and I "repurchasing", this time together as opposed to Zach by himself last time, the house we live in. I mean, this will be the ONLY time I'm really a "first time" home buyer, so if I don't get it now, then I'm just screwed! I recognize that it is probably a long shot, but having that $8,000 in the bank would make the whole thing seem a WHOLE LOT more realistic.

Did I ever mention how much I LOVE the federal government? The IRS especially. In fact, if I could bake the cookies and know they would actually eat them instead of tossing them out of the fear that someone is trying to kill them, I would. :) Please IRS... pretty please?

Paper Goodness...

I've finally found a paper idea that I think I'm in love with (Courtesy of the Creature Comforts Blog). Isn't that the coolest save the date you've ever seen? I always loves glassine envelopes, although I didn't actually know what they were called until recently!

I've already started researching some of the details, and glassine envelopes are actually pretty affordable. I'm still trying to determine how mailable it actually is.... some accounts seem to say that this would be to flimsy to actually mail... which might require some tweeking of the outside. Maybe I could make it less of a "postcard" and just more of an announcement, and put it in a nice craft envelope for mailing?

I know that I could probably Gocco the exterior information on to the envelope, and I have quite a few small craft punches that could be used to get some of the different sized confetti for the inside.

Possible Venues... the "Reception"

When I first started thinking about this wedding idea, locations came it two distinct categories, the wedding and the "reception". The wedding would be the location where we were actually married. The "reception" being the party that we had after the fact to celebrate the union and invite the friends and family for some partying. I'm going to start with the easier of the two for me to put in to words, the "reception."

I know you're probably thinking, why on earth does she keep calling it a reception in quotes? Well frankly, I'm uncomfortable with calling it a wedding reception because it may (or may not) be attached to the wedding ceremony itself and will likely not be in line with the typical wedding "reception" ideas. There will likely be no father daughter dance, cake cutting, bouquet tossing or other types of "reception" activities. There will however be food and cupcakes, some live music and possibly some dancing. It will be a party, a post-nuptial soiree if you will.

So where does one look to host a post-nuptial soiree?

Option #1: A bar.

Real romantic hey? Well, all romancing aside, we couldn't think of a better venue to convey the "this is not your typical wedding reception" than a bar. Ideally, this bar would be in downtown Chicago (although we aren't city dwellers, Chicago just has such a wonderful feel and a great bar selection) and would have brick walls (again, we're going for feel here). I'd also dreamed of pool tables, although they weren't necessarily a requirement. Good old bar food (burgers, fries, wings, etc.) would be the menu. Much alcohol would be served.

I thought this was a great idea, as did Zach. Well, at least we did until I started looking at the price for such an event. Bars in Chicago are expensive! Bars in Chicago on a Friday or Saturday night are astronomical. We're talking at least a $76 - $90 per person situation, and that is for a place with less than ideal "character" (i.e. it looks liked a typical reception hall). If we had $100 people, that means $7,600 on food and drinks!

Option #2: Public Park - Lord's Park

We live in Elgin, and fairly close to our house is Lord's Park. Lord's Park has a wonderful pavilion which, as residents, we can rent on the fairly cheap. We'd have to bring in a caterer and such, which is all doable.

Major problem here? No alcohol. I could do a mid-afternoon event, but Zach is not a fan. No booze is a no go.

Option #3: Public Park - Elsewhere?

With my dreams of marrying at Lord's Park killed by their lovely "no alcohol" policy, I thought, well what about other parks? I can't say I looked into every park in the Chicago metropolitan area (that would take forever) but for those I did find, the no alcohol policy if pretty familiar, and if that isn't there it is usually a restriction on events ending at dusk. Dusk? I'm guessing our party might just be getting started...


Option #4: Ravinia

Zach and I love Ravinia. If you've never been, it is basically a big concert hall that has a big park area behind it where the concert is broadcast through speakers. Events are generally in the evening, and you can go early and picnic on the grass before the concert. People go pretty all out with the picnicking... and it is just a super fun, laid-back environment. Zach and I have been there multiple times and always had a blast.

So, I thought, we could do that. It would have great entertainment, food and booze. So I talked to the Ravinia people about the tents you can reserve there. Well, suffice to say they are expensive and then require you to move to seats in the actually concert hall, which sort of defeats the purpose for me. I like the hanging out during the concert part the best! Oh yeah, that and it is pretty expensive, especially if you want booze.

So I looked into just doing a party on the lawn, which they will also cater, for a price. In fact, you can part cater, part bring your own, if you want. Well, at $30 per person just to get in, it was already getting pricing. Buy food and booze, even if we bring out own, would be a whole lot more pricing unless we want to seriously limit the guest list.

So it was on to what might be the winner....

Option #5: Private Park - AKA Zach's Dad's Front Lawn

Zach's dad currently lives along the wonderful Fox River in Barrington, IL. His front "lawn" abuts the river. His subdivision has a private "park" which actually sits right next to his lawn and includes a little bonfire area. The private park area has been the host of many a neighborhood party, including a few shows by Zach's band back when Zach was living at the home too. There would be no restrictions on what we could do and no real time limits.

A river front soiree with no real restrictions and no rental fee? Perfect.

Of course there are going to be some potential problems along the way, since basically EVERYTHING is going to need to be rented or borrowed from someone, but I think we can make this work. I like the idea of building the entire event around what we want and not having to worry about what the venue will allow, or what is expected of us. We can have barbecue from our favorite place in the world, cupcakes and even take a spin on the Boat if we want, what more could we ask for?

How a Became an Engaged Woman...

I’m sorry to say that Zach’s big proposal was not quite a full surprise. Zach and I had been discussing marriage, at least in a very general sense, for years. In fact, Zach had even drunkenly confessed to a few of his friends that he thought he would marry me just a few months into our relationship.

When we were in Vegas over Thanksgiving in 2007, Zach had taken me into a Tiffany’s and had me try on rings. During that event, Zach was admiring a ring on the pinky of the gentleman who was helping us. “Did you get that here?” Zach asked. “No no,” said our helpful salesman, “I got this ring custom made, and as you can see inside, there are two sizing balls in there. That way, when I get married, I can just cut my balls off and use this as my wedding band.” And he was completely straight faced. At first, I didn’t even know what to think, did someone just talk about balls in Tiffany’s, the holy grail of jewelry? Suffice to say, Zach thought the whole thing was hilarious, and I think he would have purchased a ring from that guy right then and there if it would have had the cash. Suffice to say we left with no ring and with me slightly frazzled. I had never looked at rings before and the whole think left me pretty dizzy.

Rings didn’t really come up again until we were in Cozumel, Mexico on a cruise this past February. Cozumel is evidently known for their “affordable” diamonds and jewelry and all the great jewelry stores were advertised by the “shopping consultant” on the ship. (Which reminds me, doesn’t that sound like the best job ever?) So when we landed in Cozumel, off to the jewelry shops we went. Well, after an EXTREMELY high pressured sales effort that involved card tricks, numerous “managers” and attempts to make me beg Zach to buy me a ring, we left with nothing. I quickly realized I didn’t want the ring I’d have on my finger for life coming from some pushy, cheap Cozumel jewelry store that I wouldn’t ever be able to hold accountable if the ring went to crap (which I’m pretty sure it would have!). Suffice to say, Cozumel is great for diamonds or other jewelry that aren’t going to be heirlooms. I did end up purchasing a fire opal and diamond ring, and I think that the white gold is already somewhat coming off. I still love it, but it surely wouldn’t be of a quality I’d want for an engagement ring!

Then, later this past Spring, I once again brought up that I thought I wanted to look at rings. See, back when we were in Cozumel, we had looked at an emerald cut stone with a pave band. I thought I loved it, but after a few months of thinking about it and a little online research, I was doubting my original plan. At this point I was pretty sure that Zach hadn’t gone out and purchased anything, so I suggested we look again in the future. The next weekend Zach and I went to visit his “family” jeweler. By “family” I mean that between his Mom and his Aunt they’ve probably provided him with a few retirements already, so we knew we’d get a great deal (and we knew it was top quality stuff too!). There we looked at a number of different styles and I settled on the emerald cut stone with just a simply white gold band. We even picked out two pave wedding bands to go on either side of the engagement ring, once we get there. I left there on cloud nine, and I think Zach left with a lump in his throat knowing how much he’d have to save  After ring shopping we headed to one of our favorite places for burgers, and we both ended up with food poisoning. To this day we joke that the thought of marriage was what really got us sick.

Fast forward to July 25, 2009, Zach and I were just lounging around the house on a lazy Saturday afternoon. I was sitting at our small table, doing some crafting. Our of no where, Zach comes over and starts moving around a bunch of stuff on the floor next to me. When I ask what he is up to, he says not to worry about it. The next think I know, he is down on one knee caressing my left hand ring finger. I laughed and told him to stop messing with me. Then he pulled out a box and went on to say that when he heard this song he always thought about me (by then I realized Billy Joel’s Just the Way You Are was playing) and he asked me to marry him. I think I said something along the lines of, are you serious?!, a few times and then said yes and opened up the little wrapped box. Evidently the jeweler had talked him into having it wrapped to prevent Zach from showing the whole world before he gave it to me. He said, “If someone was giving you something this special, would you want other people to see it first?”

Zach had initially planned to make a big deal out of the proposal by reenacting our first date on our four year anniversary (a boat ride and the little lake restaurant we went to, with his re-recording of Just the Way You Are, playing as he proposed) but realized I would probably see that coming from a mile away. He was right, I would have 100% seen that one coming.

A Begining Vision....

So I'm finally started to get excited about a wedding plan. Back a few weeks ago I kept tossing around a variety of potential locations for a wedding. I'm going to hold you in suspense for a few days here until I walk you through some of the other various options I was considering, but for now I'll leave you with the "inspiration board" I created over at Style Me Pretty. They've got a whole new application that allows you to go through their pictures and put together a Board. It has it's limitations (there are a lot of things in my head that just don't translate to any of their pictures) but it sure is a nice start.

Images from James Christianson Photographer, Mok Duk by Anne Benjamin, ak event design, Lisa Lefkowitz, Colorado Wedding Company, LLC, Cameron + Kelly Studio , Alison Ulshoffer Events & Design, Allyson Magda Photography, Oh How Charming!, Amanda Kraft Photography, Lisa Lefkowitz

Any guesses on where or location might be?