Sometimes I get a *little* Jealous...

And even I know it is silly to wish they were in someone else's shoes... but isn't it hard some times?

Lately I've found myself wishing that I had a different set of circumstances to deal with surrounding our engagement. I by no means wish that I wasn't with Zach, but I wish that somehow our engagement could be at a time when we could truly focus on celebrating our engagement and the commitment we are making and plan a wonderful wedding together. That at this time we weren't so burdened with so much other "stuff" that we can barely see the "woods through the trees" so to speak. Zach's unemployment really makes everything so up in the air that the idea of trying to even save the extra $5,000 or so necessary to pull this thing off is almost too daunting to mention.

I guess I just wish I could have someone else's engagement period (and maybe wedding budget) so that I wouldn't have to worry so much right now and could just enjoy it. Instead I find myself worrying so much about how we're going to pay for the damn thing that I can't even focus on what it means. I want our wedding to be a meaningful wonderful day but right now all it is is stressful... and it isn't even going to be a big wedding! I guess maybe someone else's problems would only be worse if they were trying to plan something grand.

Maybe my problems aren't so bad after all...