I Got My Dress! Pt. 1 - Some Ugly Bits

I got my dress, I'm in love, and it was way more than I thought I'd spend, and I don't even care. Care to hear the tale?

I decided, on somewhat of a whim, to make an appointment to look at dresses at Priscilla of Boston (I'll call it the POB). I know, that was really my first mistake. As I had mentioned previously, I fell in love with "drew" and "petunia". I had also moderately fell for a few of the other short dresses available from the collections at POB. I told myself that this adventure would either 1) Make me realize I hated these dresses or 2) Make me fall further in love and realize I needed to find a way to get one of them. I also felt comfortable with POB being the place to start my adventures because they had a lot of short dresses, so I figured they wouldn't be acting all snooty to a short dress bride.

I conned Zach into joining me for this adventure, mostly because I wanted company and I really trusted his opinion. Not to mention, he's the one I'm marrying and I want him to think I look wonderful in the dress, so I want his opinion.


We got there and they I have to say they were wonderful. I really couldn't have asked for a better consultant (A little shout out to Nancy!). She wasn't in any way phased that Zach was there, that I was looking for a short dress, or anything. She actually seemed excited to help me with the short dresses... and boy do they have a lot! I think I tried on probably a dozen or so different beautiful short dresses. Suffice to say, I was in dress heaven! Nancy even brought out some wonderful fun heels and a wonderful bird cage veil, both without me even asking for them specifically! I was happy as a clam.. going along with my short dress plan... not a soul in sight seemed freaked out by what I wanted, or by who my dress shopping companion was! Every time I came out of the dressing room all I saw was happy complimentary faces. Ahh... this is the life.

Of course, then a girl that I know through work happened to walk in (she's getting married soon too) and as I'm out there, spinning around in my beautiful short dress (it might have been drew by this time) in my happy dress-drunken state, she stopped to say hi. Now mind you, this is a person that I would have said I really liked, someone I had actually thought I might try to become better friends with.

Then she just looked me up and down and said, "That's just for fun, right?"

I stood there very confused. I actually didn't even know what she meant. "I'm getting married, yes." You see at this point, I was so in love and on board with my short dress idea that I didn't actually even know what she meant and I wasn't actually sure that she knew I was engaged. Silly me.

"Oh yeah, I know. The dress I mean," She retorted.

"Oh, um, well yeah, maybe. I don't know yet," I responded sheepishly. I don't know how I looked at that moment, but in my head, it was like a little girl who had just been yelled at for playing dress up in her mom's fancy clothes.

She left and that was the end of it. I looked at Zach and said, "See what I mean!?" We had previously had a few discussions about how much judgement there was around weddings, and there it was. He saw the catty crap right in front of him and he agreed, it was ugly.

Too bad for her I was in a dress I was quickly falling in love with and one look back in the mirror and I really didn't care what she had to say. I loved Drew (the dress) and everyone around was oh-ing and ah-ing at how great Drew and I looked together, so the negativity was quickly erased by happy thoughts of marrying Zach in this amazing dress.....

But then she brought out some options that were on sale..... and I got a little bit confused.... stay tuned for more!

Please Stop with the 20-Million Questions!

One of the biggest things I have struggled with since Zach and I got engaged is the constant questioning. From the moment we announced we were engaged... people are a barrage of questions. Did you set a date? Have you looked at dresses? Where are you going to have it?

I know that all of these questions are meant to be nice. I know that these are the questions people feel comfortable asking a woman with an engagement ring on her finger. In fact, they might even feel obligated to ask them, since I'm supposed to be a flutter of planning and plotting by now (we are a whole TWO months post-proposal now). I think if The Knot had its way I would already have a date, a location and probably a dress practically picked out by now.

I don't have any of that done. We're still working on a concept, but I think we're finally getting comfortable with one at this point. Of course, as I start to get comfortable with our concept, the more self-conscious I feel about sharing it with the people who keep asking what we're doing. So for now, I just tell them, "We're still working on it" or "We'll just be doing something small". The second one does seem to get a lot of, "If I were to do it all over again, I would do something small too." Which is somewhat reassuring, but it always makes me wonder why they did it any other way in the first place.

For now, I will leave you with a happy wedding thought, and a happy wedding idea. The photo to the left is from Once Wed and really is a perfect picture of how I picture Zach and I on our wedding day. Well, maybe without the bow tie. Otherwise it looks perfect. Anyone know where that dress comes from?!

A Change of Plans...

Already!? :)

As I had previously mentioned, we had discussed the idea of doing a party at Zach's father's for our "reception". I started doing a little math on that one, and quickly realized that we'd probably end up spending at least $5,000 to make that happen (oh yeah, and that doesn't even include an emergency tent in case of rain!). It also didn't include things like a dress for me, suit for Z or rings. OR the Honeymoon.

Suffice to say after studying all that math, I figured we had to come up with $13,000+ in the next year to make a wedding of that nature happen. Umm... let's say I have $1,000 saved already.... that means we would still have to save roughly $1,000 a month for the next year. Let's just say that, even in the best of times, that probably wasn't possible, and this isn't exactly the best of times. :)

So I was back to the drawing board. I tried to consider what was really the most important things for me when it came to the wedding. Here is the list:

1) Getting married sooner than later.
2) A wedding witnessed by our closest friends and family.
3) A wonderful honeymoon right after the wedding (no 6-months later stuff).
4) Good food and cupcakes (Molly's cupcakes to be most specific).
5) A chance to celebrate with our extended network of friends and family.

Somewhat "Important" Stuff
1) Pretty flowers for me
2) Pretty dress for me
3) Pictures of us
4) Pretty invitations

Let's be honest, that isn't really a very big list. And it can easily be accommodated by a variety of options. Here is what we have come up with so far.

Ceremony: Wedding at the Chicago Cultural Center witnessed by our nearest and dearest 28 or so friends and family. Well, as long as we're allowed that many people. :) I'll have flowers, a beautiful dress and our union will be witnessed by our nearest and dearest. I'm also thinking we'll have cupcakes while we wait... and possibly some pictures. We're blessed with having two photographer friends (one who does weddings for living!) and two brothers who are very good with cameras. Between all of them, I think we'll get some great shots!

"Reception": If you can even really call it that. We'll head out after the ceremony to have lunch with the group somewhere close. We have every intention of footing the bill for this one, and we'll have yummy food!

After Party: We can head out to a bar somewhere in Chicago that night to have a "after hours" party and invite everyone we know to join us for a drink. I figure this way we can party all night with people who love us and not have to pay for the entire party. Yeah, we're cheap, but we also don't expect and/or want presents, so I think that evens out. :)

Sunday Relaxation: We figure if any of our friends and family are still around (since many will be flying/driving in), we can hang out on Sunday and relax.

Monday (or maybe Tuesday) honeymoon!: We'll head out the next day or so for the honeymoon. The current idea is a 7-day cruise, but those are hard to find leaving on an early weekday!

Total cost: probably $6,000 - $8,000

I'm not going to say that even saving that much is going to be easy at this point, but it seems much more reasonable. I hope to be able to find some ways to do things a little cheaper. Do I need a $300 dress? Do I need to get my hair done? Some of those things are still a little up in the air.

Oh yeah, and when I presented this plan to the Fiance, his only input was, "I would really like to do it Labor Day weekend if that is possible. Otherwise it sounds great." Next Labor Day weekend would be out 5 year anniversary. Isn't that cute?

Dress Love...

I would really hate to spend a lot of money on a dress. I say that, and then well, I fall in love with 4 dresses, all over $2,000.

This is Melissa Sweet's dress Petunia. I've had a love affair with Petunia for well, probably years. I originally saw her on some celebrity bride (I think it was some top chef contestant or something) and she made my heart skip a beat. I think I spent HOURS trying to figure out who made that dress... I had to know! Unfortunately my love is only available from other brides by now... and well... even used she's at least $1,500+. Of course... I could always resell it later right? :)

This is Priscilla of Boston's Vineyard's Collection's Drew. Drew and I don't go back nearly as long as Petunia and I do, but well, I'm still in love. In fact, I think Drew has a little edge of Petunia in that she's a tad shorter. I'm not 100% sold that Petunia's longer style would be best on my semi-short legs. Drew, well, she's perfect. And I think she would qualify for Zach's 1 request to show some clevage. :)

Drew is equally outragously priced, starting at about $1,000 used. Again, I could re-sell it right? :)

Oh the terror of having expensive taste on a minimal budget. :)

A Few Worries...

I have two major (at least wedding related) worries at the moment.

1) There is no way we are going to get this thing done in a year.

And by that I mean, there is no way that we'll be able to afford this thing (and a honeymoon) in a year. Not given my recent pay reduction and Zach's current self-employment/unemployment.

I've just briefly mentioned wanting to do this next Labor Day and everyone keeps saying... "Wow, that will be here before you know it!" Yeah. Thanks for reminding me. Want to make a donation?

I recently checked out the Knot boards for my "date twins" (assuming a Labor Day 2009 weekend wedding). Can you say BAD IDEA? Some of these girls have venues, photographers, and caterers all signed up already. I have... well... I've got this idea...

And if that weren't enough I have another worry....

2) And that is the slippery slope down the bunny hill.

If we have a party, I want it to be a wedding-ish party (still emphasis on the party, but a little wedding thrown in). I want it to have a nice aesthetic... I want people to look back on it fondly. I think I want some pictures. I want nice papery goods. I want good food (and plenty of it). I want a dress I feel amazing in. I want Zach in a nice suit vest thing. We might need to rent a tent in the case of rain (although I don't know where we'd actually put it). All of that costs money. And money, is what we don't have a whole lot of right now.

I think that the crux of both of my fears is really that I just don't want to have regrets. I want whatever we do to be exactly what we want to do and to be done the way we want it. I don't want to half ass things because we just didn't have the cash. I mean, I recognize that letterpress invitations might not be in the cards (although I'm not going to lie, I haven't completely given up the idea in my head) but there are other things that might not be so clear cut.

What am I praying for right now? I'm hoping the fine federal government comes through a decides that I deserve the $8,000 first time home buyer credit for Zach and I "repurchasing", this time together as opposed to Zach by himself last time, the house we live in. I mean, this will be the ONLY time I'm really a "first time" home buyer, so if I don't get it now, then I'm just screwed! I recognize that it is probably a long shot, but having that $8,000 in the bank would make the whole thing seem a WHOLE LOT more realistic.

Did I ever mention how much I LOVE the federal government? The IRS especially. In fact, if I could bake the cookies and know they would actually eat them instead of tossing them out of the fear that someone is trying to kill them, I would. :) Please IRS... pretty please?

Paper Goodness...

I've finally found a paper idea that I think I'm in love with (Courtesy of the Creature Comforts Blog). Isn't that the coolest save the date you've ever seen? I always loves glassine envelopes, although I didn't actually know what they were called until recently!

I've already started researching some of the details, and glassine envelopes are actually pretty affordable. I'm still trying to determine how mailable it actually is.... some accounts seem to say that this would be to flimsy to actually mail... which might require some tweeking of the outside. Maybe I could make it less of a "postcard" and just more of an announcement, and put it in a nice craft envelope for mailing?

I know that I could probably Gocco the exterior information on to the envelope, and I have quite a few small craft punches that could be used to get some of the different sized confetti for the inside.

Possible Venues... the "Reception"

When I first started thinking about this wedding idea, locations came it two distinct categories, the wedding and the "reception". The wedding would be the location where we were actually married. The "reception" being the party that we had after the fact to celebrate the union and invite the friends and family for some partying. I'm going to start with the easier of the two for me to put in to words, the "reception."

I know you're probably thinking, why on earth does she keep calling it a reception in quotes? Well frankly, I'm uncomfortable with calling it a wedding reception because it may (or may not) be attached to the wedding ceremony itself and will likely not be in line with the typical wedding "reception" ideas. There will likely be no father daughter dance, cake cutting, bouquet tossing or other types of "reception" activities. There will however be food and cupcakes, some live music and possibly some dancing. It will be a party, a post-nuptial soiree if you will.

So where does one look to host a post-nuptial soiree?

Option #1: A bar.

Real romantic hey? Well, all romancing aside, we couldn't think of a better venue to convey the "this is not your typical wedding reception" than a bar. Ideally, this bar would be in downtown Chicago (although we aren't city dwellers, Chicago just has such a wonderful feel and a great bar selection) and would have brick walls (again, we're going for feel here). I'd also dreamed of pool tables, although they weren't necessarily a requirement. Good old bar food (burgers, fries, wings, etc.) would be the menu. Much alcohol would be served.

I thought this was a great idea, as did Zach. Well, at least we did until I started looking at the price for such an event. Bars in Chicago are expensive! Bars in Chicago on a Friday or Saturday night are astronomical. We're talking at least a $76 - $90 per person situation, and that is for a place with less than ideal "character" (i.e. it looks liked a typical reception hall). If we had $100 people, that means $7,600 on food and drinks!

Option #2: Public Park - Lord's Park

We live in Elgin, and fairly close to our house is Lord's Park. Lord's Park has a wonderful pavilion which, as residents, we can rent on the fairly cheap. We'd have to bring in a caterer and such, which is all doable.

Major problem here? No alcohol. I could do a mid-afternoon event, but Zach is not a fan. No booze is a no go.

Option #3: Public Park - Elsewhere?

With my dreams of marrying at Lord's Park killed by their lovely "no alcohol" policy, I thought, well what about other parks? I can't say I looked into every park in the Chicago metropolitan area (that would take forever) but for those I did find, the no alcohol policy if pretty familiar, and if that isn't there it is usually a restriction on events ending at dusk. Dusk? I'm guessing our party might just be getting started...


Option #4: Ravinia

Zach and I love Ravinia. If you've never been, it is basically a big concert hall that has a big park area behind it where the concert is broadcast through speakers. Events are generally in the evening, and you can go early and picnic on the grass before the concert. People go pretty all out with the picnicking... and it is just a super fun, laid-back environment. Zach and I have been there multiple times and always had a blast.

So, I thought, we could do that. It would have great entertainment, food and booze. So I talked to the Ravinia people about the tents you can reserve there. Well, suffice to say they are expensive and then require you to move to seats in the actually concert hall, which sort of defeats the purpose for me. I like the hanging out during the concert part the best! Oh yeah, that and it is pretty expensive, especially if you want booze.

So I looked into just doing a party on the lawn, which they will also cater, for a price. In fact, you can part cater, part bring your own, if you want. Well, at $30 per person just to get in, it was already getting pricing. Buy food and booze, even if we bring out own, would be a whole lot more pricing unless we want to seriously limit the guest list.

So it was on to what might be the winner....

Option #5: Private Park - AKA Zach's Dad's Front Lawn

Zach's dad currently lives along the wonderful Fox River in Barrington, IL. His front "lawn" abuts the river. His subdivision has a private "park" which actually sits right next to his lawn and includes a little bonfire area. The private park area has been the host of many a neighborhood party, including a few shows by Zach's band back when Zach was living at the home too. There would be no restrictions on what we could do and no real time limits.

A river front soiree with no real restrictions and no rental fee? Perfect.

Of course there are going to be some potential problems along the way, since basically EVERYTHING is going to need to be rented or borrowed from someone, but I think we can make this work. I like the idea of building the entire event around what we want and not having to worry about what the venue will allow, or what is expected of us. We can have barbecue from our favorite place in the world, cupcakes and even take a spin on the Boat if we want, what more could we ask for?